I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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