I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
