There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
