Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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