You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
