im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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