dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
