My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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