he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
