Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
