question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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