Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
