Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
