You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
