bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
