oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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