R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
