In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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