We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you win again, gameday.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
