If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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