I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
