Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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