The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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