Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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