What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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