Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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