I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
