Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Two words: nipple clamps
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