she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
