i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
