She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
