It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
