If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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