I could have mohawked her pubes.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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