i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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