Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
