Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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