I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
