.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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