we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
