you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
