i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
