Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just invented taco cereal.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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