Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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