it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
that may or may not have been my penis.
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