Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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