Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
