Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My balls are so social today.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
