i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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