I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
